


beauregard is strong

by halforcpaladin



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Short n sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 16:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17247728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halforcpaladin/pseuds/halforcpaladin
Summary: Beauregard falls for Jester, in her voice.





	beauregard is strong

I am strong. I have to be, 'cause strength lets me grab a part of myself that would otherwise be out of my reach. I closed a door but kicked a window open.

It's like, when my fist hits something and that something falls back, collapses, whatever, and I feel the pain of the impact... it's almost as good as kissing a girl. Fuckin' wham! It's even better when I start to bleed. It's vivid, beautiful, that bright ruby red blooming like a flower in between my knuckles.

The problem is I wouldn't know where to find that kind of beauty, or that kind of feeling, if it weren't for hitting things. Most people find something like that when they're kids, but I didn't.

I don't know exactly when Jester started making me feel like that, too. But I remember her losing it. Yeah, maybe that's when I realized she had that effect on me--when the effect was gone. I remember watching her dance in the moonlight on the Mistake and it was like she was glowing. We had just killed a ton of harpies so I was already feeling my blood pumping, but watching her dance and laugh was like... was like the feeling you get just before falling. Like: whoops!

And then the glow was gone. I couldn't help but notice. I was noticing it all over the place. I knew that it was about Fjord, but back then I didn't realize how I was starting to feel about her so that part wasn't bothering me. What can I say? I'm kinda bad at this stuff, okay?

I had to say something. I had never said anything like what I said to her that night, in the storm, to anyone before. I was soaked, exhausted, I couldn't stop myself from shivering. My teeth clattering together when I shouted over the wind: "I think that's beautiful." I wasn't embarrassed, per say, but I felt like a child. Like I was showing someone where all my weak points were, but it was fine, 'cause I trusted that person not to hit me.

So, it's weeks later before I decide to do something about it. We'd been travelling for a few days, and at some point I drifted off from the cart to, you know, take care of some business. I saw a flower. It was pink and it had loads of petals all curled up on each other, and it was so beautiful. It reminded me of Jester, so I took it.

I wanted to give it to her, but it had to be at the right moment. So I waited all day with the flower in my pocket, trying to make sure I didn't crush it. I took it out and set it next to me when it was my turn to take a nap in the cart.

I didn't find the moment until that night when we were unloading the cart. The moon was full again so we could travel a little longer after the sun went down, but it was cold and it took a long time pulling out all the furs we bought in Nicodranas. Jester was standing by one of the horses to watch as Caduceus told them approximately how long he thought we would be asleep and where we would be going the next day. Then Caduceus left and I walked up to Jester with the flower in my hand and a little buzz in my ribcage.

"Hey, Jes?" I said.

She turned around and smiled at me. It was like that night on the Mistake again. I noticed the little metal chain dangling from her horn sparkled in the moonlight. "Yeah, Beau?" She said. Her eyes kinda crinkled when she smiled.

"I found this flower today and it made me think... well, I thought it'd look cute in your hair." I pulled the flower out of my pocket when I said this, and felt good about how I'd kept it from getting crushed all day. "It matches the color of your bag."

"Oh, wow!" She said, and now she was grinning, and her eyes got crinklier. "It's sooooo cute, Beau! Will you put it in my hair for me?"

"Sure," I said. I fixed it next to a flower Nott had tied into a braid the other day, carefully wrapping her dark blue hair around the stem. Without thinking much about it, I let go of the flower and took some of the hair next to her face and tucked it behind her ear. The tips of my fingers grazed her cheek. Her skin was warmer than mine. "There." I stepped back a little to admire the effect. There it was: the glow.

I caught myself smiling and I tucked my hands in my pockets.

Then Jester leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek and that's when I really felt it. It was like the same feeling I got when I punched an asshole in the face, but also the opposite of that.

She stepped back and said, "That was really thoughtful, Beau."

I mean, that was it. That was the moment I knew I loved her.


End file.
